A Sheep, a Duck and a Rooster Float into a Paris Cafe

Ever vigilant in the search for ingredients which could become Wry Bread (when mixed, kneaded and half-baked) I shelled out $3 in a thrift store for The Book of Incredible Information.  To give the potential buyer a taste of the contents, the cover includes this sample nugget: “Every square inch of the human body has about 32 million bacteria on it.” Unwilling to foist on my two or three loyal readers information which might not be trustworthy, I chose a square inch on my left arm and proceeded to count the bacteria.  After 9 hours of counting, I was only at 18,644, and there were many more bacteria left to count, so I decided just to trust the book’s figures.  Surely, they wouldn’t call it The Book of Incredible Information if the information in the book were not reliable.

“Wait a minute Rusty, if it’s reliable, wouldn’t it be called The Book of Credible Information?”

[That’s my friend Pretty Boy Humphrey who likes to pop into my stories ----uninvited, I might add.]

“One thing I can rely on is you crashing my stories, Pretty Boy.  If you want to help write this one, go see if you can estimate how many bacteria are on your entire body”

[That should keep him busy for a while.]

This story is not actually about bacteria; it’s about the first hot air balloon.  The book says it was invented by two French brothers in 1782.  The Montgolfier’s were papermakers who discovered that a silk bag would float to their ceiling if it were filled with hot air.  (Yes, you would think these papermakers would have used a paper bag, but this is one of those occasions when I have to trust the book---or resume counting bacteria.)  The next year, the brothers launched a large hot-air silk balloon, which, according to the book, “carried a sheep, a duck and a rooster into the air.”  (Experts believe that only the duck had any previous flying experience.)  When asked why they put three animals in the balloon’s basket when one would do, they said it was in case they landed in an open-air café, where they could be the beginning of a joke: “A sheep, a duck and a rooster float into a Paris café…”  Actually, we’re not sure that’s what the brothers said because they answered the question in French.

“If you had paid attention in French class, you might know what they said, Rusty.”

“Back so soon, Tommy?  I was hoping----that is, I thought you’d be working on your assignment for hours.  Did you estimate the number of bacteria on your body already?”

“Ninety-six billion Rusty.  According to Mr. Google, the average adult has about 2800 square inches of skin.  I’m a bit above average, skin-wise.”

“That’s safe to say.” 

“So, let’s assume I have about 3000 square inches of skin.  Your “Incredible Book” says there are about 32 million bacteria in each square inch.  Three thousand times 32 million is 96 billion.”

“Let’s go with 100 billion to be safe.  Good work, Tommy.  I’ll call if I need you.  But getting back to our story…”

On November 21, 1783, the brothers launched the first hot-air balloon with human occupants and no tether.  Stunned observers insisted that when it took off, the balloon was in black and white, but when it landed, it was in full color, surrounded by little singing people, and one of the wicked witches was dead.  [No wait---that didn’t happen until 1939]. 

In 1783 the balloon reportedly rose to about 500 feet, flew over five miles and was aloft for 25 minutes.  According to the book, it descended rather dramatically when “the straw used to stoke the hot-air pit set fire to the balloon.”  (You’d think someone might have seen that coming).  The balloon landed in a farming area just outside of Paris.  Thankfully, the three passengers were unharmed, but it’s said that a sheep, a duck and a rooster on the farm suffered minor injuries. It is not said by anyone credible, but it is said, nonetheless.  No, we have no accurate estimate of the number of bacteria on the farm animals.

Thanks to the wonders of modern imagination, we’ve been able to track down and interview one of the descendants of the very duck that took the first hot air balloon ride.  We have not used his name here because we couldn’t decide what to call him.

“How about Cluck----Cluck the Duck?”  

“Okay Tommy, we can call him Cluck.”

Wry Bread: Thank you for agreeing to speak with us, Cluck.  I know our readers are anxious to hear what your ancestor recalled about that historic day.  I understand he was a great-great grand-duck of yours?

Cluck: Well, it was way over 200 years ago now, so there are a lot more greats before that word grand-duck, but it was a banner day for our family, and the account of it has been passed down for generations.  You must remember that this first balloon flight occurred at a time when ducks were undervalued.  We were thought to be good only to be tricked into landing on ponds, filled with buckshot and given a free ride in a Labrador’s mouth.  This was long before Donald, Daffy and Duck Donuts brought us some positive press, and Grandduck could never have foreseen that an insurance company would one day have a loud spokesduck.

WB: So, this flight of your ancestor was one of the first times people began to think of ducks as something other than food.

Cluck: That’s right.  It brought some positive attention to us.  The irony is, according to Grandduck, after all the hoopla leading up to it, the flight itself was rather anticlimactic.  He said he could have flown higher, faster and further in 25 minutes any day.

WB:  Did your grand-duck have any recollections of the other passengers?

Cluck:  He said the sheep seemed to enjoy the trip the most.  She was the only one of the three who had a view of the ground, and she narrated the journey over field and stream.  The rooster seemed terrified throughout the flight.  He quivered in a corner.

Tommy:  So, you could say the rooster was a chicken.

WB: Yes, Tommy.  We could say that, but we probably shouldn’t.

Cluck:  Actually, I think his conscience was troubling him. Grandduck said he was praying for mercy and promising to reform.  Apparently, he had been quite the “ladies-man,” so to speak.

WB:  I understand a parade was held for your grandduck, the sheep and the rooster.

Cluck:  Right through the streets of Paris.  Someone made a replica of the balloon and put it on wheels and the three rode in it, pulled by two fine horses.  They say it was a glorious day.

WB: I wonder about the rooster.  Do we know if his repentance was genuine?

Cluck: Grandduck said that after the flight the rooster was a changed bird on the farm, less feisty; less cocky; more considerate of those who aren’t “morning animals;” and fully committed and faithful to one hen.  So it appears the balloon flight bore lasting fruit.

WB: That’s great to hear.  Thank you so much for taking the time to chat with us, Cluck.  Now I believe it’s time for former Pastor What’s-his-name to leave us with a biblical truth:

No ducks are mentioned in God’s Word, although of course there are many references to sheep, but there was one rooster that had a memorable role in the events surrounding Christ’s crucifixion.  On the night that the disciples shared the last supper with Jesus, He said,

All of you will be made to stumble because of Me this night, for it is written:

“I will strike the Shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.”  But after I have been raised, I will go before you into Galilee.  Peter said to Him, “Even if all are made to stumble because of You, I will never be made to stumble.” Jesus said to him, “Assuredly, I say to you that this night, before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.”  Peter said to Him, “Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!”  (Matthew 26:31-35) 

It was just a few hours later when Peter missed a once in a lifetime opportunity to declare to the servants and soldiers warming themselves around a fire of coals in the High Priest’s courtyard that the man being questioned nearby was the long-promised, long-awaited Messiah. Not only did Peter fail to tell them that good news, but he was also evidently so overcome with fear after having witnessed Jesus’ arrest that when he was recognized as a disciple, he declared with vehemence and swearing that he was not a follower of Christ, and that he didn’t even know Him.  Then he heard the sound that would forever remind him of that tragic night, the rooster’s crow. 

One might think that such a tragic fall would have disqualified Peter from further service to Christ.  But after Christ’s resurrection, He made it clear to Peter over breakfast on the shore of the Sea of Galilee that he was not only forgiven but also given the responsibility of feeding Christ’s sheep.  (John 21) Just a few weeks later, filled with the Holy Spirit, Peter was boldly proclaiming the gospel before some of the very people who plotted Christ’s death. (Acts 5:13 f.)

Have you denied Christ at school, or on the job, or with your family or friends, either by declaring you are not His follower, or by failing to declare that you are His follower when the opportunity arose?  Don’t allow regret to consume you. Remember how God used Peter after his tragic failure and take comfort in the promise: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)  

Now go wash your hands. They’re reportedly filthy.  And use anti-bacterial soap.