Thursday, March 26, 2020

Rusty Wonders



Some things cause me to wonder.  For example, the little box of dye that temporarily turns gray beards back to their original brown or black is called Just for Men.  They print it prominently on the front of the box.  I can’t imagine why they would do that, other than to prevent women from using it to dye their beards.  “Keep away, ladies, this beard dye is just for men.  You women will have to get your own.”  


I wonder how many husbands have heard their wives say something like: 

“Honey, have you noticed how my beard has been slowly turning gray over the years?  I sure wish I could put some of your dye on it; you know, to bring back the natural brown I had when we married, but the box says it’s Just for Men.”
   
“You don’t need that, dear.  I like your beard with the gray.  It’s distinguished looking, and the gray goes especially well with your blue lipstick.  It gives your face that Civil War Reenactment look.”

“Thanks, Honey, that’s sweet, but I’d still like to get that gray out.  It makes me self-conscious when I’m around younger women with their dark moustaches and beards.”

“Well, you’re welcome to try it, but there must be some reason it’s clearly labeled just for men.  Maybe it won’t work on women’s beards?”

“But how could a woman’s beard be so much different than a man’s?  Hair is hair.”

“Well there must be some difference or they wouldn’t have made such a point of it on the box.  I think you’d better use the shoe polish under the sink.”  

“But won’t that make my beard shiny?”

“No, I don’t think so, not unless you buff it.”

I also wonder about the side mirrors on cars that say, “Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.”  

Is that really a good idea?