A Sheep, a Duck and a Rooster Float into a Paris Cafe

Ever vigilant in the search for ingredients which could become Wry Bread (when mixed, kneaded and half-baked) I shelled out $3 in a thrift store for The Book of Incredible Information.  To give the potential buyer a taste of the contents, the cover includes this sample nugget: “Every square inch of the human body has about 32 million bacteria on it.” Unwilling to foist on my two or three loyal readers information which might not be trustworthy, I chose a square inch on my left arm and proceeded to count the bacteria.  After 9 hours of counting, I was only at 18,644, and there were many more bacteria left to count, so I decided just to trust the book’s figures.  Surely, they wouldn’t call it The Book of Incredible Information if the information in the book were not reliable.

“Wait a minute Rusty, if it’s reliable, wouldn’t it be called The Book of Credible Information?”

[That’s my friend Pretty Boy Humphrey who likes to pop into my stories ----uninvited, I might add.]

“One thing I can rely on is you crashing my stories, Pretty Boy.  If you want to help write this one, go see if you can estimate how many bacteria are on your entire body”

[That should keep him busy for a while.]

This story is not actually about bacteria; it’s about the first hot air balloon.  The book says it was invented by two French brothers in 1782.  The Montgolfier’s were papermakers who discovered that a silk bag would float to their ceiling if it were filled with hot air.  (Yes, you would think these papermakers would have used a paper bag, but this is one of those occasions when I have to trust the book---or resume counting bacteria.)  The next year, the brothers launched a large hot-air silk balloon, which, according to the book, “carried a sheep, a duck and a rooster into the air.”  (Experts believe that only the duck had any previous flying experience.)  When asked why they put three animals in the balloon’s basket when one would do, they said it was in case they landed in an open-air café, where they could be the beginning of a joke: “A sheep, a duck and a rooster float into a Paris café…”  Actually, we’re not sure that’s what the brothers said because they answered the question in French.

“If you had paid attention in French class, you might know what they said, Rusty.”

“Back so soon, Tommy?  I was hoping----that is, I thought you’d be working on your assignment for hours.  Did you estimate the number of bacteria on your body already?”