“Yes, I searched for a sponsor for ten years until the
Spanish king and queen signed on. As
sponsors, they got their name and image on all the bric-a-brac we brought to
trade for spices and gold----Ferdinand
and Isabella coffee mugs, key chains, tee shirts, caps, visors, you name
it. Plus, they were granted exclusive film
rights for the expedition; the contract clause read, ‘…in the event that motion
pictures should be invented soon.’”
They provided three ships for the journey?
“Well, my ship, the Santa Maria, was the one we knew to be seaworthy; we brought the Nina and the Pinta along for parts. Oh, and they carried replacements for Santa Maria men who fell overboard or died of Scurvy on the trip. If I had a do-over, I’d bring more oranges and fewer coffee mugs, and maybe one or two life-preservers.”
How long did your westward journey take?
“About five weeks, which any sane man would think should be
long enough to get to China. Who could
have guessed there’d be a continent or two in the way? You’d think some Viking might have mentioned
it.”
You landed on a Caribbean Island, thinking you had reached
the Orient. How did you determine you weren’t in China?
“Well, the people were dark-skinned, there were no rickshaws, we couldn’t find a decent Chinese restaurant, and all their music was reggae.”
